STUPID WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel SO bad.

You know those situations where you say something and the wrong person hears it and it all gets misunderstood?

Well that happened to me yesterday – with a complete stranger – and it made me look like a total meanie! (meanie is not really the word I would have used but we are keeping this blog rated G right?!)

So here’s how it all went down:

I went to meet some friends in Souk Al Bahar, and I was late. When I got there, they were complaining to me that I kept them waiting in the heat so I had to explain that the reason I took SO long. I was waiting AGES in the parking lot for this woman to perform her 18-point-turn-reverse-park into the spot next to me, and when she finally managed to complete this seemingly challenging feat, she proceeded to swing her 4×4 door open and BASH it into my little Toby (that’s the name of my car).

Now – as I’m sitting there explaining this whole story to my friends, there were some people who kept walking by our table to take photos of the Dubai Fountain, and one lady accidentally bumped into my arm as she was passing by. The unfortunate thing is that she bumped into me JUST as I was finishing my story with a dramatic ending, yelling “STUPID WOMAN!!!!”

Of course, I was referring to the woman who hit my car with her door, but this poor lady was so flustered and taken aback because she thought I was yelling at her and calling her a stupid woman. I tried to fix it and said “Oh my goodness! Nooooooooo! Not youuuuuuuuu!! You aren’t the stupid womaaaaaaaaan!!”  but she backed away with a look in her eye that was part fear, part sympathy because I’m sure she thought I was crazy.

I don’t know if she believed me that I really wasn’t talking about her and I still feel SO bad.

So – to the dear sweet random lady who bumped into my arm accidentally yesterday – if you’re reading this – I promise! It wasn’t you! I’m sorry and I’m not a horrible person!! Promise!!

Yes… I am face palming right now.

What I wanted to do after yelling “STUPID WOMAN”
Unfortunately I had to use my hand to palm my face instead.

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My Face Palm Moment…

I don’t think I’ve ever had a time in my entire life when I felt as DUMB as I did yesterday!

It’s that time of year when I need to re-register my car. If you live in the UAE, you know that it’s a pain in the butt process as it is, but God forbid you are missing a document – it gets even worse!

Now of alllllllllllllllllll documents to be missing, I somehow misplaced my registration card for my car…  I didn’t understand how the heck I could have lost that ONE card because I NEVER use it. Every year when I re-register my car, I just put the card RIGHT back into the same compartment of my car and it stays there until renewal time again.

But somehow, this year – it went missing.

I spent a week looking for it. I searched the whole car, went through my wallet about 5 times, checked all of my purses, opened up every envelope and file I had in the house that pertained to my car… it was nowhere to be found.

Without this card I am unable to pay my fines online (which were shockingly high this year – I’m still not convinced that I deserved all of them) and it just made the entire process a bigger headache.

Finally, I gained the courage and strength to begin the renewal and re-registration process.

It took me 2 and a half hours. TWO AND A HALF hours of going back and forth between buildings… here to pay fines, there to do your car test, oh no – you can’t do your car test without your registration card – go to another building to get a printout that says you lost your registration card (which you’re about to replace in 10 mins anyway)…pay for this paper… okay test passed, pay for this test… now go back to the other building and stand in line all over again… oh – your turn is next!? Sorry I’m going on break… pay money…more for this and more for that…

At the end of that 2 and a half hours I was DYING to get out of there (I forgot my book and my BlackBerry battery had died so I was dying of boredom).  Finally, I get to that last counter…counter 14… where they process the actual registration card.  The sweet man behind the counter handed me my card and I very happily took it and went to put it directly into my wallet so that I didn’t lose it again… and as I go to slide it into the pocket of my wallet, you’ll never guess what I found…………………………………..

MY OLD REGISTRATION CARD!!!!

It was in my @#$*!% wallet the ENTIRE time!!!!!!

JML… (that stands for Just My Luck… my G-rated version of the very popular 3 letter acronym that starts with “F”)

I really don’t think a fail could get more epic than that.

This was me yesterday… I’ve never felt so dumb in my life.